Parenting Toward Enlightenment

Here's a koan from Dolores:
How do I attain enlightenment while parenting a teenager?

My youngest son is 16. I'm convinced that one of his major roles in life has been to provoke my spiritual growth. It hasn't been an easy path with him, but it's been a rewarding one (at least, it feels rewarding most days.)

This son came into this life with some major challenges, and eventually had some big diagnoses. Life was challenging for us those first few years, and I'm a much, much more patient person than I was before he was born.

One of the things that helped us survive the early years was a book that said that I could choose whether to engage in confrontations, and that the dictatorial parenting model I'd grown up with didn't work with these children. From that, I learned to pick my battles, and let the unimportant stuff (which was almost everything) go.

That was much easier, and a real life-saver for us. Now, my son is in a school where he's happy, and a home environment where he's ususally happy, and he's a different kid.

What it really boils down to at home, though, is that he's very sensitive to energy, and I'm very sensitive to energy. So, when I'm calm, balanced, and relaxed, my son is much calmer, more balanced, and relaxed. And if I'm not, he magnifies my stress and reflects it back to me. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So I get really good practice, every day, in walking my talk. And working toward enlightment.